Mike's Journal
DAY 22
DATE: Monday, September 12, 2012
TIME: 9:39pm
A. OPENING THOUGHTS/OBSERVATIONS:
Feeling a little uncertain today. Once I logged in this entry for my journal/book I did feel more at peace though. Campbell’s apotheosis is about sacrifice and letting go of who you were in order to become who you wish to be.
The production is going exceedingly well and I’m realizing that theater is something I “am” rather than something I “do”. I’m recognizing that experiencing the heightened emotions is the reason I do this. Maybe part of the purpose of this Quest is to be okay with letting go of my need to do theater for a little while. The heightened emotions, in which I might now describe as “productive”, can be experienced through this training program rather than needing a theater outlet to experience them.
My Course In Miracles studies have been fruitful in my constant awareness of the “dual mind”, that of the ego and of spirit. I’ve been highlighting quotes from ACIM that mean the most to me about how the ego deceives. In discussions, some people have found these quotes insightful which helps me feel connected.
B. DREAM ENTRY:
I dreamed of a pregnant woman being violently murdered. It tells me that today I have a choice to let go of my anger, my resentment and give birth to a new man. Yes, I have a new habit but there’s always a chance I may break this habit once the thirty days are over. After the murder I felt my shortcomings, my faults and vulnerabilities were on display as I experienced shock, horror and then, mourning. Much to my surprise, my loved ones didn’t even notice the shortcomings until I mentioned my insecurities about them. This reinforces the idea that the ego will give extreme examples to trick you into thinking you’re not worthy of happiness. But making a note that my loved ones considered the murder a “dream” helped me to forgive my ego for conjuring up such a horrible crime within the deepest recesses of my mind. It never happened, nor has my ego created a real situation in which “The Son” was taken along with “The Mother”. The extreme example of murder never really happened in reality, it was only "an act".
C. Play “The Question Game” as described in the opening of this
chapter. Remember the guidelines of what an effective question should
be. Make them relevant to your intentions and allow them to lead you to a
course of action which will allow you to complete your Quest.
***
The Workout
Focus on Supersets - Pulling (Back, Lats, Biceps)
1. Exercise 1: Barbell Row with Dumbbell Reverse Flies
4 Sets of 12 Reps
Identify Intention: Content for this book: Renew my sense of excitement and discovery as to where this Quest is leading me.
Question (# 1 ): What is this new Quest that will inspire me once these 30 days are up?
After Set 1: Answer your own question and form a new question.
(a) I intend to write the second draft of these notes into a book. I’m willing to try again to write the book I’ve always intended to write for over five years now.
Question (# 2 ): You’ve attempted to write a book before and lost interest. Why is this time different? What is different now?
After Set 2: Answer your own question and form a new question.
(b) This thirty day cycle seems simpler and more powerful to me than a 60 day cycle in which my previous book was written about. I understand the Quest process better now. A tighter niche is being targeted in the realm of physical fitness. I’m also less attached to my outcome. I don’t care if I finish; I just want to enjoy the process.
Question (# 3): Why does the fact that this book is centered on physical fitness make a difference?
After Set 3: Answer your own question and form a new question.
(c) To me, it seems more engaging to my multi-tasking nature (perhaps to my undiagnosed ADD?). It’s less intimidating because I like the idea of filling a book with photos, physical exercises and emotional philosophy. It just seems like a more solid, marketable idea because it asks my reader to directly interact with the material.
2. Exercise 2: Bench Dumbbell Row with Machine Row
4 Sets of 12 Reps
Identify Intention: Content for this book. Renew my sense of excitement and discovery as to where this Quest is leading me.
Question (# 4): How do I know I’ll follow through with this book?
After Set 1: Answer your own question and form a new question.
(a) I only know what I intend to do today. Because of what I perceive to be the effectiveness of my program, I know I’ll work out again tomorrow. This excites me enough to want to share it with people. I have faith in the day-to-day accomplishments.
Question (# 5): What if it doesn’t succeed? How can you win even if you lose?
After Set 2: Answer your own question and form a new question.
(b) This question definitely made me stop to think about it. The difference is that I accept defeat already. I’ve already lost so much that even the fact that I’m here writing these words is a victory. All I want to do is win the day. Maybe “winning the day” on a day-to-day basis will help me go the distance.
Question (# 6): How have you won the day already?
After Set 3: Answer your own question and form a new question.
(c) Today is DAY 22 and I have no signs of slowing down. If it’s true that it takes 21 days to form a new habit then I’ve formed a habit that I’m glad has been established. This is a habit that’s already changed who I am as a person. Every day past DAY 21 proves that I'm in full career of this new habit.
(I’m choosing to finish this line of questioning before going on to the next physical exercise.)
Question (#7): Will this habit help you finish this book and seek publishing?
(d) I believe it will be. Sometimes I think it’s not so much my faith that faltered, it’s the fact that my daily routines have changed since finishing past projects. I’ve been working out for twenty years now. That’s not going to change. As long as I can add these emotional elements to my workouts, I’ll always have a Quest that I’m seeking to complete and something to write about. In addition, publishing doesn’t seem as important as much as sharing the material. It does excite me to share this information on a blog and possibly use it as a text book for future clients.
3. Exercise 3: Chin Ups with Lat Pull Downs
4 Sets of 12 Reps
Identify Intention: Ask Questions Intentionally to Create Forward Momentum on the Actions I Prescribed For Myself.
Question (# 1): What actions will I take to fulfill Chapter 8 (The Climax) as far as reaching out to 5 people? Who specifically am I going to write to?
After Set 1: Answer your own question and form a new question.
(a) Jessica (a current friend), Bob and Carol (professional acquaintances), Laura (my love), Elizabeth and Alan (former friends from my life before), Gina (a friendship that seems to have been lost).
Question (# 2): How do you foresee that writing to these specific people will create momentum? What will you do in response of this action?
After Set 2: Answer your own question and form a new question.
(b) I think it will provide the appropriate space, as well as the appropriate state of mind, for me to be in when I have my meditation about writing the introductory content of this book. Perhaps the feedback from these people will inspire my writing more effectively. These people represent my past and present. So I'm bringing past moments of my life into the now.
Question (# 3): What might be the key to successfully completing that meditation?
After Set 3: Answer your own question and form a new question.
(c) Of course I won’t know until I actually take the hour to do it. I’m intuiting that the key might have something to do with training an entire human being - body, mind and soul. It’s back to that “outside-in” and “inside-out” approach. Meaning that a thought creates emotion. Emotions create action. Actions create character. Character spawns different thoughts. This will be a book that strengthens all areas of life - starting with the body's connection to the mind through its emotions.
4. Exercise 4: Preacher Curls with Dumbbell Curls
3 Sets of 12 Reps
Identify Intention: Create “forward motion” questions to take action for the Climax chapter.
Question (# 4): How does this enhance your fourth task? (That of releasing yourself from desire for 3 days.)
After Set 1: Answer your own question and form a new question.
(a) For one thing, I’ve already made it through the first day of releasing desire. This has been done by focusing on this material. Spirituality has a lot to do with giving and receiving, but then again, so does all of life depend on the giving-receiving dynamic. I’m stronger now because of this give and take dynamic. There’s no doubt that I’ll be successful in these three days because of what I've been giving to others on a moment-to-moment basis.
Question (# 5): Do you feel prepared to do these tasks?
After Set 2: Answer your own question and form a new question.
(b) Almost. I think there is a natural progression in going about these items. The first step will be having it feel natural and right.
Question (# 6): What is that natural progression of having it "feel right"?
After Set 3: Answer your own question and form a new question.
(c) Continue these three days of ‘letting go’ and then write to each person. Writing to each person requires different degrees of courage on my part. I'll start with the one that requires the least amount of courage and work up to the one who requires the most. Write to Jessica first, then Laura, followed by Bob and Carol, Gina then Elizabeth and Alan. Then I can meditate and write based on both my own inner feedback from communicating with them along the feedback I receive from them.
(Again, I’m choosing to finish this line of questioning before starting a new one.)
Question (#7): Does this scare you? Does it make you stop when really considering doing this?
(d): Hell yes! I can see now how I might unconsciously brush these tasks to the side. But I also feel it is a fitting demonstration to myself that I have succeeded in this Quest. I want to do these things. This line of questioning made the stakes higher and the actions more meaningful.
Last Observation: I feel like taking action. It will now feel like I’ve truly accomplished something beyond just having great workouts for thirty days.
5. Exercise 5: Dead Lifts with Back Extensions
3 Sets of 12 Reps
Identify Intention: BONUS: Increase Connection to Spirit to Finish Out the Day
Question (# 1 ): How do I get more from my spiritual awareness in spite of worldly distractions?
After Set 1: Answer your own question and form a new question.
(a) Part of it is knowing that every distraction is a really call in disguise to reunite with my spiritual connection. I’m grateful for having the presence of mind to be able to 'wake up' immediately after I’ve been distracted.
Question (# 2): What is this ‘waking up’ phenomena? What does it mean to you?
After Set 2: Answer your own question and form a new question.
(b) It comes from knowing I can never truly fall asleep again. My desire to know the mind of God/Source is so intense now from years of wanting this. That desire causes a feeling of intense awareness of being fully awake.
Question (# 3): What does desire, consistency, and persistence have to do with the natural phenomenon of being ‘awake’?
After Set 3: Answer your own question and form a new question.
(c) Desire is the act of understanding that the ego appears to be separated from Source. But this is not true. Desire allows one to know that there is a mechanism in place to reconnect one to Source because the ego’s version of things are not true. So desire, when cultivated and developed, reconnects One to Source.
6. Exercise 6: "Up-Down-Out-In's with Bicycle Crunches"
3 Sets of 12 Reps
Identify Intention: BONUS: Increase Connection to Spirit to Finish Out the Day
Question (# 4): How does knowing about this mechanism serve you right now?
After Set 1: Answer your own question and form a new question.
(a) It allows me to see that I’m not really distracted. I am very focused and simply thinking that I’m being distracted is what being human is about. I am living a human experience to develop deeper appreciation for Source.
Question (# 5): How can you deepen your appreciation right now for acknowledging this sense of Truth?
After Set 2: Answer your own question and form a new question.
(b) Letting go, having fun, and enjoy what is in my life right now. My soon-to-be wife, my health, a career I enjoy, working with kids, helping adults create a sense of connection.
Question (# 6): Have you succeeded today?
After Set 3: Answer your own question and form a new question.
(c) Yes. No more digging necessary for today. It’s time to start taking action with the faith I’ve established through these questions.
DIET JOURNAL: (log in any foods you consumed for the day)
Egg Sandwich
Protein Drink
Energy Bar
Chicken Salad Wrap
Peanut Butter Wrap
Tilapia with Brown Rice
ADDITIONAL JOURNAL ENTRIES:
Click Here to return to Chapter 12.
No comments:
Post a Comment