Mike's Journal
DAY 26
DATE: Friday, September 16, 2012
TIME: 11:59pm
A. OPENING THOUGHTS/OBSERVATIONS:
Wow, getting this entry in right under the gun before midnight. Definitely feeling a sense of satisfaction looking at my body and knowing beyond any shadow of a doubt that I’ll finish these thirty days. A reviewer for the show even mentioned my physique in addition to my performance in the production. So this validates my succeeding on the physical level with this Quest. The workout routine is a huge step up for me and I embrace being addicted to this new rigorous regimen.
Tonight I will focus on the feedback from the ones I sent emails to. Beyond that, I’ve been doing a lot of writing and have identified three “climactic moments” to this work: 1. Deciding to make this my career. 2. Finishing this draft of the book. 3. Finding a new spiritual awareness that allows me to let go of my ego.
Today my Course In Miracle work continues to focus on the power of the giving/receiving dynamic. All things that are meaningful, that is the transference of love, wisdom, and appreciation, are always reciprocal. I recognize now that by writing this book I am in a constant state of giving. This will continue as later drafts are developed and this work is opened up on an interactive blog. As I give I continue to receive because both are the same thing.
B. DREAM ENTRY
Dreamed about finding the secret to accessing control over my dreams. There was a magic wand that runs up my solar plexus, heart and third eye which can shift my conscious attention into what I call the “second attention” through the dream state. The magic wand wasn't something in my hand, it was a part of me and had the power to manifest anything at will. This reward definitely feels like my unconscious is giving me props for this thirty day commitment.
Also dreamed about hanging out and having fun with friends in high school. However, these were not friends my ego recognized as being in physical reality here in my life as Mike Shoeman. But I love these friends very much and recognize them as beings in another reality. I kept thinking about the book “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” which is now a motion picture. It’s that feeling of being “Infinite” that defines this dream while being with my really close friends.
C. Simply stated, you are to journal between sets
what action steps you have already taken in completing your Quest. If
it’s something you have to do in your spare time, use the “Active Rest”
periods to complete what you need to do. (For example, I started writing
this book during my Emotional Exercises in this chapter.) The next
three days are about action. Bring it home!
***
The Workout
Focus on Supersets: Pulling - Back, Lats, Biceps
1. Exercise 1: Barbell Row with Reverse Dumbbell Flies
4 Sets of 12 Reps
Identify Intention: Increased Confidence
Action Step Taken/Action Step You’re Completing:
Reflect on Email Feedback - How did reaching out to others make a difference?
After Set 1: Journal your results, feedback, or focus on what needs to be done to complete your Quest.
(a) I reflected on writing to Elizabeth and Alan. They didn’t write back. So I focused on feelings of Fear that I was experiencing and will work up my calibrations from there. I consider this an action step because I shouldn’t stop reaching out to others. Having no reaction from people who were once really close friends would have stopped me before. But now I will take those feelings, “re-calibrate” them, and help it inspire me to new action steps.
I fear that I might have offended people so bad that they believe I’m not worth talking to.
I fear that I’m not a likeable person.
I fear that that there are faults I have that I’m not even aware of.
I fear the past repeating itself.
Action Step Taken/Action Step You’re Completing:
Reflect on Email Feedback - How did reaching out make a difference?
After Set 2: Journal your results, feedback, or focus on what needs to be done to complete your Quest.
(b) Reflected on writing to Gina who was very warm in her response. I focused on Desire as the next step up from Fear. Gina's response represented what may ego "wants" from my friends. Gina was someone who I had a working relationship with who got "caught in the middle" of a dispute I had with a theater company. I expressed a lot of anger and she didn't deserve to catch the brunt of it. I apologized to her immediately after the incident happened a few years ago but always felt I owed her more.
I want more opportunities to prove myself and be successful.
I want to be liked.
I want to be perfect and respected.
I want to express my anger now.
Action Step Taken/Action Step You’re Completing:
Reflect on Email Feedback - How did reaching out make a difference?
After Set 3: Journal your results, feedback, or focus on what needs to be done to complete your Quest.
(c) Though I’m not angry at her, there were some things that generate aggressive energy when writing to Laura. I took Anger as the next step up from processing Desire and any other disempowering emotions like Fear. Laura was very reciprocal as always to my wanting to communicate. My aggressive feelings stem from wanting to be a better material provider and that's what I was feeling when writing out my letter to her talking about my feelings.
I’m angry that I have material responsibilities that I want fulfill (a house, car, gifts) but can't.
I’m angry that I don’t have the skills to fulfill some of these obligations (repairs around the house mostly).
I’m angry that I’m in a shitty period in my life where money and resources are scarce.
I’m angry that people don’t get me!
2. Exercise 2: Dumbbell Rows with Cable Reverse Flies
4 Sets of 12 Reps
Identify Intention: Increased Confidence
Action Step Taken/Action Step You’re Completing:
Reflect on Email Feedback - How did reaching out make a difference?
After Set 1: Journal your results, feedback, or focus on what needs to be done to complete your Quest.
(a)This time I moved up to Pride when reflecting on writing to Bob and Carol. Both of them were very warm and responsive to my email. They are current friends and have been instrumental in my getting involved in the theatrical production in which I’m performing. I believe there is a mutual respect from both of them. They have given me the opportunity to be proud of myself.
I’m proud that I do have people who respect and care about me.
I’m proud that I took the time to express my feelings.
I’m proud that I’m choosing to acknowledge my negative feelings, rise above them and take action.
I’m proud that my work as an actor, writer and trainer can generate new friendships.
Action Step Taken/Action Step You’re Completing:
Reflect on Email Feedback - How did reaching out make a difference?
After Set 2: Journal your results, feedback, or focus on what needs to be done to complete your Quest.
(b) Focused on Courage after reflecting on the response from Jessica. She was also very warm and, even though we hadn’t spoken in months, it did require a little courage to contact her.
Courage is choosing to let go of the past and focus on who is receptive of my gifts now.
Courage is giving myself permission to be better than I was ten minutes ago.
Courage is allowing others to think negatively about me.
Courage is knowing when to stop thinking and open up that laptop!
Action Step Taken/Action Step You’re Completing:
Reflect on Email Feedback - How did reaching out make a difference?
After Set 3: Journal your results, feedback, or focus on what needs to be done to complete your Quest.
(c) I continued to reflect on my five recipients and focused on Trust.
I trust that letting go of the past is necessary. (Elizabeth and Alan)
I trust that I am loved and blessed. (Laura)
I trust that I have so much good karma which balances out anything negative I may momentarily feel. (Gina)
I trust that support is always given if I ask for it. (Jessica, Bob/Carol)
3. Exercise 3: Lat Pull Downs with Chin Ups
4 Sets of 15 Reps
Identify Intention: Increased Confidence/Content for Book
Action Step Taken/Action Step You’re Completing:
Continue to Use Feedback in Calibrations - This serves the purpose of using the most important skill to have the epiphany I'm looking for at the Climax of this Quest.
After Set 1: Journal your results, feedback, or focus on what needs to be done to complete your Quest.
(a) Began to meditate on what needs to happen for me to fine-tune the first few pages of the book. I continued up the calibration scale that I left off at "Trust".
I am willing to show up at the computer and start.
I am willing to make this easy on myself, relax, and let my deeper Self tell me what should be said.
I am willing to eat properly for today’s workout.
I am willing to do the next set.
Action Step Taken/Action Step You’re Completing:
Continue to Use Feedback in Calibrations
After Set 2: Journal your results, feedback, or focus on what needs to be done to complete your Quest.
(b) Focus on Acceptance of myself.
I accept who I am now, 26 days into the Quest.
I accept that every moment is powerful when I apply my “conscious-choice” mechanism.
I accept that the clock is now ticking.
I accept that no words are going to perfectly describe this work, I can only chose to do the work. That will be as close to perfect as I can get. Writing is simply reporting the action.
Action Step Taken/Action Step You’re Completing:
Continue to Use Feedback in Calibrations
After Set 3: Journal your results, feedback, or focus on what needs to be done to complete your Quest.
(c) Forgiveness: “Forgive who you were. Even if you have shame in your consciousness or have unconscious guilt” This will be a major theme of Body Sculpting for Spiritual People. Only through forgiveness and acceptance can one begin to truly fathom emotions like Clarity, Love, Joy, Peace, and Enlightenment.
4. Exercise 4: Preacher Curl with Dumbbell Curls
3 Sets of 12 Reps
Identify Intention: Increased Confidence/Content for Book
Action Step Taken/Action Step You’re Completing:
Continue to Use Feedback in Calibrations
After Set 1: Journal your results, feedback, or focus on what needs to be done to complete your Quest.
(a) Other thoughts on Forgiveness: “Forgive others for having their own private universes - universes of which you have little or no control over.”
“Forgive yourself for even considering for a moment not doing what needs to be done to write your intended destiny.”
Action Step Taken/Action Step You’re Completing:
Continue to Use Feedback in Calibrations
After Set 2: Journal your results, feedback, or focus on what needs to be done to complete your Quest.
(b) On Clarity: “With clarity comes speed and effectiveness. If the mind is clear then the body will follow.”
Action Step Taken/Action Step You’re Completing:
Continue to Use Feedback in Calibrations
After Set 3: Journal your results, feedback, or focus on what needs to be done to complete your Quest.
(c) Clarity: “Be clear about your intentions. This is your power of 'why'. Let yourself find the consistent moments of clarity that will move you forward.”
5. Exercise 5: Cable Bicep Curls (21’s) with “Everest” Barbell Bicep Curl
3 Sets of 21/24 Reps
Identify Intention: Increased Confidence/Content for Book
Action Step Taken/Action Step You’re Completing:
Continue to Use Feedback in Calibrations
After Set 1: Journal your results, feedback, or focus on what needs to be done to complete your Quest.
(a) Love: "I love that I love and can be loved - giving her space if necessary.
I love that I can spend my time doing something supremely productive for me."
Action Step Taken/Action Step You’re Completing:
Continue to Use Feedback in Calibrations
After Set 2: Journal your results, feedback, or focus on what needs to be done to complete your Quest.
(b) On Joy: I am joyful that I can do this by myself.
I am joyful to be at the end/beginning of this 30 day Quest.
I am joyful to be writing something I’m passionate about.
Action Step Taken/Action Step You’re Completing:
Continue to Use Feedback in Calibrations
After Set 3: Journal your results, feedback, or focus on what needs to be done to complete your Quest.
(c) On Peace: Peace is a gift from Source. It is eternal and is always there. You bring your ego to peace, but peace can’t be brought to the ego.
On Enlightenment: Your happiest moments are only a faint glimmer of what true Enlightenment is. Keep going toward your bliss and understanding does come.
6. Exercise 6: Jumping Push-Ups with Roll-Ins - Pikes
3 Sets of 12 Reps
Identify Intention: Increased Confidence
Action Step Taken/Action Step You’re Completing:
Focus on what was the purpose of taking these Action Steps of writing emails.
After Set 1: Journal your results, feedback, or focus on what needs to be done to complete your Quest.
(a) Instinctively I knew to do calibrations just now which led me to these words: The climax is about confronting that which has power over you. “People” are what I’ve been giving power to - a Power Source outside myself. Once I emailed everyone and after doing these calibrations (which is a pivotal skill this book has to offer) then I was able to see the give/take connection between Self/Others that make miracles happen. This is the “boon” of my Quest.
Action Step Taken/Action Step You’re Completing:
Focus on what was the purpose of taking these Action Steps of writing emails.
After Set 2: Journal your results, feedback, or focus on what needs to be done to complete your Quest.
(b) By writing to others I was accessing the Giving/Receiving dynamic. There felt like an increase in my energy when I did that. My ego wanted to destroy these feelings by creating fear when Elizabeth and Alan didn’t return my good sentiments. I see now that I wasn’t giving out appreciation solely for their benefit, but for my own sense of Self and to broaden my own abilities to Give. And by Giving, one truly does Receive. Now I’m ready to do this full time, at every moment.
Action Step Taken/Action Step You’re Completing:
Focus on what was the purpose of taking these Action Steps of writing emails.
After Set 3: Journal your results, feedback, or focus on what needs to be done to complete your Quest.
(c) The purpose of writing those emails was to begin a new habit of reaching out. There is no substitute for “work”. But my beliefs about work have changed. What I used to see as work is in actuality “Giving/Receiving”. For the purposes of this book that might not mean much or connect to most people. But for me personally, for the purposes of my Quest, I’ve learned something deeply riveting.
DIET JOURNAL: (log in any foods you consumed for the day)
Egg Sandwich
Protein Shake
Baked Chicken
Fruit Tart
Chicken Salad Sandwich
Pita Chips
Protein Bar
ADDITIONAL JOURNAL ENTRIES:
Click Here to return to Chapter 13.
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